Deliriously amazing night

So, if you don't know, Im in the local orchestra here. We have a new conductor, who is purely amazing. He has another orchestra that he is the conductor of, called the Space Coast Symphony Orchestra. I have never been to any of their concerts, and he invited me to come out and see their concert tonight. So, I went and words can't express how much of an incredible time I had! They are a vastly, hugely talented group of musicians. I felt something deep in my soul. I need to get serious about playing my instrument. I need to strive to be THAT good. Anyway, tonight was so frekaing fantastic. I sat next to the cutest, funniest elderly couple who talked my ear off, but in a good way! I had some great conversations with them. I also talked with quite a few other people around me. My friend Aaron, the conductor, is supremely talented; a conducting prodigy, an incredible talent. Watching the relationship between him and the musicians was exciting.... the music was made alive and in your face! I felt dizzy from the pure pleasure of listening to great music and watching great musicians. I honestly didn't want this night, the experience of being there, to end. I am very very much looking forward to the next concert.

Contemplative

I have been brooding a lot lately. I seem to be stuck in a constant state of turmoil. Not to say I'm unhappy... just... well, as the title states: contemplative. I used to be so sure of things. Life hasn't been easy by any means. And, it still isn't. It never will be. But, I wish I could have some things become clear for me. I'm sure everyone wants that. But what do you do when something strikes your soul with the force of a semi truck? I don't see how you can ignore being struck by a semi truck. Well, this soul annihilating semi can come at any time, in the form of anything. It's hard, damn hard, when this incident happens. It may not be noticeable, it may gradually come to light. When I stood at the crossroads many years ago, I was SO sure of the path to take. I was confident, defiant, and no "voice of reason" would sway my decisions on anything. I find myself at similar crossroads, or at least approaching them. The voices of reason are absent, but I can imagine them here and what they would say. Again, I want to be confident and defiant, but I am not. I find myself screaming and no one hears me. Or, no one chooses to hear me. I know this sounds as if I am absolutely miserable, but that's not true. On the contrary, I am actually quite happy. There are things that are happening that aren't fun or happy, but the tiny small things really affect me more so.

What I'm Up to....

So, life has been slightly crazy lately. We are preparing to move. So, packing has been a huge time taker. I hate the packing process... makes me so sad!
I have been working on some swaps that I signed up for. I just made a blue star shaped dishcloth, with a plarn center :). I am currently working on two Halloween ATCs, "Horror Icon" is the theme. I'm doing a Frankenstein card and an Edgar Allan Poe theme card.
I just had a concert tonight with my orchestra. It was a great performance and I am looking forward to tomorrow's concert!
That's all for now, have a good night!

I lost followers!

Wow! So in the past week I have noticed that 2 people have stopped following me. I mean, I know my blog isn't FANTASTICALLY interesting... but I am working on it. I feel sad now. :(

Moving Updates

So, we paid our final rent. I was a bit sad to do so. We do like it where we are at. We are settled into a comfortable way of doing things. For the first time, our son recognizes a place as his HOME, and it's this place. I'm trying to help him understand that we're moving. I know he doesn't understand. He sees me putting stuff in boxes, but I'm SURE in his 3 year old mind he isn't concerned with it. Probably thinks it's just another thing that mommy does, lol. I'm betting, though, that when it comes time for toys to be put in boxes, he might start to really wonder. Then... moving day comes- he's probably going to be a bit freaked out.
If anyone is reading this, you might be wondering- "So, have you found a place yet?" Answer: NO. I found a place that was for $525 a month and I was so excited!! A 2b/2ba townhouse out by the mall. BUT they want just over $1k for the deposit. We SOOO can't do that. PLUS- I found out from my landlord that we will get our $500 deposit back from him AFTER we have moved out. At that point, we'll walk through it with him and then hand in the keys and get our money from him. So... yeah. Pretty much have stop signs from all angles and turns!!
Anyway, the in-laws offered the extra bedroom to us, of course. It's not my favorite option, but as it's looking right now- it's our ONLY option. We have no other choice, no money to do anything with moving! But, on the bright side- we can put the $500 away, and add some money to it each month and save up a little bit. And, this is going to sound COMPLETELY selfish.... but it'd be nice to have a breather. We don't do ANYTHING! We don't go anywhere! My grandfather died in June and I couldn't go to the funeral. Maybe we can take a short little weekend trip up to Massachusetts and at least say hi to the relations up there and visit his grave. I would like to venture into leaving my son with a trusted friend and maybe trying to have a date night with Randy. I think we are *seriously* needing some time for US. As much as I used to shrug that notion off, I am very much agreeing with it now.
Ok, so I think that's pretty much it for now. I was on a packing roll and then hit a brick wall. Now, I pack sporadically. I did a little bit earlier. I need to get on that roll again, though. Alright... I'm done talking now!

~Good Night~

Carnivale

So, I finished watching season 2, the last season, of Carnivale. What a ride! What a journey! How FANTASTIC this show is! I love *everything* about it. I can NOT believe HBO canceled it after only 2 seasons... it was supposed to go for 6 seasons!! I'm all for trying to get HBO to bring it back. I read that in 2007 there was some pitch work or something. I'd like to hear if there truly is going to be more Carnivale!!

Now, I am on to Mad Men.... just got season 1.... will start watching soon!